תום ג׳וליאן ואני - סיפור בהמשכים

Im a mess ... Idont think i like being a kid 

Having every one overing me 

I want to live a happy life 

I dont want to spend my life asking what if 

I hate this expretion "what if " 

I dont want to have any regrets 

Which is funny cuz i already have ones 

I should forgive my self and every one in order to move on with my life 

I want to have enough time 

Im not saying i dont wanna die but i want to have a chance to acomplish everything i want or ever wanted or will want 

I want to die and be able to look back at my life and be happy for what i did 

I want to know that in any giving  moment if i die every one i love will know that i love him ... 

And thats funny cuz i can think of two person that dont know i love them maybe even three or four 

But it so fucking scary to tell a person you love him when you are afraid he doesnt love you back or maybe he will take adventage becouse he'll have that imformation that you love him that you care about him that he can make you or breack you in a blink of an eye ...

So what the fuck do you do in that messy situation ? 

God i think way better at english 

And i really want to live my life at any where but here ... 

But will i be able to leave  everything behind me ? 

Every single person i know ? Seeing them at the best case senario every year ? Will i be able to take it ? Will they ? 

Should i even consider it ? I fell blocked , like i cant go anywhere , like im chaind to this contry that i dont like that much and you know what it doesnt seem like people in here  like me any better 

But were not that kind of a family the kind that moves away 

The kind that can just break ... 

Well i guess i will have planty of time to think about that ...