Damn you.

Damn, damn, damn you.

I had a good day today. I didn't have just a good day, I had the best day. I met my best friend. I met him after I haven't seen him in over a year. We had FUN. We celebrated his birthday, which is coming soon. He brought a few friends and it was fun.

And then you came.

I have no idea why I entered the Webtop. I seriously don't know why the hell I did something like that. But then I looked at the message I sent you and found out that you had only just read it today.

Damn you.

Can you just tell me why you keep on breaking my heart? Why you take the girl most loyal to you and two galaxies and smash her heart down like you don't know how much it hurts her? Why you take the girl who cares about you more than almost anyone you know, and do something like that to her? Break her heart, over and over again, after she gave you the only thing she won't give to other people- her heart?

Why? Just tell me why. I swear, I won't be angry. I won't yell at you. I won't cry. I'll walk away, because that's what I decided I'll do and I still think that's the best for both of us.

But why?

Fuck being strong.

Yes, I'm in pain. I'm in pain over losing this kind of relationship. You're a jerk, you know that? Something like we had needs to be protected. You said so yourself, this is rare. This kind of thing nearly never happens. It's so rare I know many people who had never felt it.

But then came you and smashed it like you never cared. I know you cared - maybe it's naive of me, but I trust you. When you act like you care, I know you'd never lie to me. But now I'm not so sure if I was right or wrong, because it seems like you stopped caring, and I wonder what happened to the amazing, brave, smart, caring man I knew. It's like I never even knew you.

So yeah, damn you.

I can't go around pretending everything is fine, when my heart's broken into pieces. I was never in love with you, but I loved you like I love my best friend. You were my friend, and don't pretend you weren't, because there was a time you felt comfortable being my friend. You said so yourself- you said it's more than Teacher-Student relationship, and it's okay. And it was okay.

And I just... don't understand what happened.

And don't be an idiot, that will never stop me from caring for you. But I'm broken hearted, and I know you're not surprised to hear that.

I just don't understand why you'd do that to someone who cares for you, worrys about you, loves you so much and knows you so well. I'm sorry, but I don't get it.

I know why I'm breaking it. I don't know what's on your end.

I'm just sorry I didn't write something else. There's so much I want to tell you, and I'll never get to.

Again in tears,

Ann.