In times like this, I wish that I had someone. Someone to cuddle with, to make me feel safe under their arms.
I remember that this is what I liked most about Danielle, even though she was a girl, she made me feel safe when she held me. Sometimes, that's all what a girl needs. To feel safe.
I don't think I'm ready to a boyfriend, I don't want to love someone that way yet, and I really never came to that tender feeling yet. To be true, I can't recall myself seeing a guy (or a girl, for that matter) in the street and thinking that he's hot, or anything like that. I'm just not ready for that kind of relationship.
But I do need this person I could talk to about anything, and decide that I will never lie to them from the start - which isn't easy for me since my life is so boring, I have to make stuff up to be interesting.
I need this person who won't need me in a sexual way, or want me like that. I need this person to hold me, to make me feel safe in their warm arms and sooth me when I'm down. When I feel like I'm about to fall apart, like so often happens to me in the last year.
I need this person that won't think I'm weird, like I heard so many times before. I need this person that won't mind that I need a lot of attention, and a lot of times I unintentionally make things about me when they aren't.
I need this person that will be okay with me nuzzling their neck, or kissing their cheek without having their mind race forward about things this might mean or not mean.
I need this person that will accept me the way I am, and I won't be afraid of telling me things that I keep to myself only, because I fear they will see in a different light and back away from me.
Is that kind of person exist, or am I waiting for nothing?
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