when you feel as if your reasons to live are running out,

when you can't cry anymore, when you can't even giggle,

it means that there's something messed up about you.

you're fucked up.

i'm fucked up.

when i try to make myself cry, all that comes out sounds much more like growling and roaring.

when i try laughing, it hurts so bad that i almost cry and then, hey, those obnoxious roars again.

it seems so much as though no one cares about what is going on with me, that i start thinking that if somehow, sometime soon enough, i will meet death and someone would try to save me, to take care of me, i would just give up.

i wouldn't care to die.

i should care, if i'm about to die. and i am not, but i still don't care.

the only thing that keeps me from sticking a gun right between my eyes is my dog and my baby sister.

it feels so sick - that i live for a dog and a kid who barely know me. and beyond sick, it seems like everything can end if i only want it to.

i wanna die.

please, if you know me, please don't try to talk to me, about anything that is written in here. thank you.