i'm having a trouble focusing about what really matters lately, which is studying my ass off for finalls, because of you. i knew i made the right decision when i cut you out of my life, but you just don't give up, fighting over me again and again. true, it was selfish and hubris to think i'm better off alone without any commitment to the enviornment, but to be honest, i don't want to go back to my old habits, back in the days when everyone sucked so much energies out of me, leaving me empty and unconscious.

the main objective anyway, is not hurting you by being me. you see, i'm trying really hard to reach my goal, and the process of making it happen doesn't involve any emotions.

in order to change myself and ivolve into something else, i have to lose everything i have, including you. get rid of everything holding me back, chaining me to a disaster waiting to happen. problem is, you think you can save me from my rational pessimistic mind, which is a vain purpose i must say. there's no ground for who we are, you see, it is all based on biological circulations, neurology would explain it better. of course i don't have the extended knowledge to explain why i developed the way i am today, but i strongly believe more than ever, that its not a coincidence. our genome, the way we were raised and other environmental effects made us who we are today. nothing more. everything's planned, there's no such a thing called a soul, no such bullshit called feelings. once again, everything happens for a reason. i lack alot of information, however there's a bit of comfort in the insight we're all just causes and results.

"You never get your hands covered in dirt

You never get your heart covered in hurt"

precise description of me- evertyhing has its logic, you just have to seek beyond if you wish to understand why you must stop hovering around me.